Zen and the Art of Telling Versus Showing

by James Lyn

A common piece of advice given to new writers is to "show, don't tell." On the surface, it appears to be a very straightforward piece of advice. But in practice, the art of telling versus showing can be much more complicated. Heck - if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

Simply put, telling is when you provide information and its meaning to the reader; showing is when you present information that the reader has to interpret. Telling versus showing is a balance, rather than a hard and fast rule of "show, never tell." Sometimes part of a story needs to be told instead of shown, and the right amount of "showing" can vary greatly with the mood of the story.

The basic difference between telling and showing can be seen in the following two examples:

TELL:

Steve walked into Martin's office and found Martin waiting for him. They talked about their upcoming court date; they had been arrested for having sex in the park. Steve wanted to plot out every possible legal strategy. Martin wanted to postpone the discussion. This was typical; Steve was a precise and arrogant accountant, and Martin was a disorganized academic who was unnerved by the world outside his campus.

SHOW:

Steve looked around Martin's office with distaste. The polished wooden desk overwhelmed the small room; there was barely room for a second chair. Jumbled, disorganized piles of books and papers covered every available space, and the one precariously-balanced desk lamp illuminated nothing. It was a far cry from Steve's tidy, dust-free cubicle, where accounting ledgers were properly constrained by binders and bookshelves. Steve allowed himself a small smirk of superiority.

"We have to discuss the court appearance," he said without preamble.

"Do we have to?" Martin asked, setting aside half-moon reading glasses so he could pinch the bridge of his nose. Martin's voice sounded tight, and Steve noticed he'd been wearing the same black turtleneck for days. Martin made a gesture towards his desk, as though intending to claim he was too busy to pause for conversation.

"We don't have to if you'd rather go to jail," Steve said. He dropped his briefcase on the desk, absurdly pleased when the action knocked several papers onto the floor. "I, for one, do not wish to go to jail, so I intend to have this conversation whether you like it or not.

Both examples give the reader the same basic information with regard to the plot. The first gets right to the point and moves on, whereas the second example takes the reader along for the ride.

The Advantages of Show, Don't Tell

Knowing when to show and when to tell depends on what you want to accomplish. Telling allows you to give the reader both information, and the meaning of that information - useful when it's important the reader get it right. Showing gives the information but requires the reader to interpret it on her own.

Showing is a way to set the mood or atmosphere of a story. J.R.R. Tolkien spends a great deal of time describing the forests and surrounding areas through which his characters traverse. This description allows Tolkien to vividly show how his world is changed through the actions of the characters. The impact of the metaphor might be lost if Tolkien didn't show the forests so clearly.

Bram Stoker's Dracula is written in the style of a personal journal, and as such contains descriptions of the narrator's dinner on the train and the comfort of his sleeping arrangements. This might not serve the plot, but it serves the style - these are the sorts of things that readers expect to find in a diary.

Showing can be as basic as using adjectives and adverbs or as complex as writing an entire chapter about relevant events.

A house is simply a house, but a large, foreboding house is one you might not want to walk into. On the other hand, a large, foreboding, dark, looming, quiet house is probably going to confuse the readers before they ever reach the front door. If you find yourself wanting to use more than one or two adjectives, consider that you might expand your "showing" into a second sentence - or even fill it out with a whole paragraph.

The large house ahead was quiet, looming above them like a foreboding wall. The windows were all dark; Jessie couldn't tell if this meant no one was home or if the occupants were all tucked away for the night. He found himself hesitating on the stone path to the front door, as though his feet knew something the rest of him did not.

This shows the reader what sort of house Jessie has come upon in a more vivid way than "the house was scary." Showing the house in this manner gets readers more involved in the story, allowing them to picture the house and get a feel for why Jessie would be hesitant to walk up and ring the bell.

(Opinions differ when it comes to the use of adjectives. Some writers insist that a story can be properly written without depending on them - that a well-chosen noun or verb will be descriptive enough. Others use adjectives freely and widely. All writers will have their own style when it comes to adjectives, but the fact remains that the purpose of an adjective is to describe things.)

Showing the events of the story not only helps encourage the reader's interest, but it helps the author tell the story more accurately. By giving the reader important details, the author can make sure that the reader isn't picturing the wrong thing - and thus won't be confused by later developments. Even small details can convey important information. As you write a scene you may find yourself thinking, "It doesn't matter whether the moon is up." But if you neglect this detail, yet describe a character walking up to an unlit house at night, in the middle of the woods, the reader may wonder how he can see anything.

Finally, words other than "said" can lend nuance to a character's dialogue - so long as they are used sparingly. When overused, they become distracting; most of the time it is better to stick to "he said/she said." But the occasional use of "he squeaked/she bellowed" can quickly and easily add an element of "showing" to the story.

Action!

Showing action is as important as showing setting. Telling pieces of action is a common flaw found in amateur writing, when it seems that the author just wants to move ahead to the next part of the story. The scene where the main character breaks into the mad scientist's laboratory is reduced to "he broke in" rather than shown with any detail, perhaps because the author was too overwhelmed to figure those details out. Conversations which would reveal character development are merely alluded to, rather than shown. These choices cheat the readers out of interesting, and often necessary, development.

Important or pivotal scenes include those which involve new behaviors, thoughts, or interesting events. If John and Patricia chat all the time about affairs of the heart, then the reader will not be confused by a simple "John decided to talk to Patricia." However, if John has never talked to Patricia before, the reader will be surprised when John decides to do so, and will want to see how he talked himself into it.

It is frustrating for a reader to be following a character's journey, only to find that an event she has been looking forward to has been skipped over with the barest mention. The author may not care about how John decides to go talk to Patricia, but the reader has become invested in John's life and wants to see this pivotal moment as well as the pivotal scene where John is actually talking to her.

Showing character behavior lets the reader discover the character's personality, and follow the characters' journeys through the events of the story. It allows the author to convince the reader that the characters are making decisions. Otherwise the readers can become frustrated by the heavy hand of the author, and be unwilling to suspend disbelief when the character they've come to know "wouldn't do that."

It isn't necessary to show every second of action; doing so will make your story read like a shooting script. But skipping important scenes, or parts of a scene, will leave the reader feeling like they've missed out.

Tell, Don't Show

There are times when it is better to tell instead of show. Too much detail will clutter up a story, and distract the reader from following the action. It can be boring to spend pages showing the character walking down the sidewalk, into the building, through the lobby to the elevator, down the hallway, and into the office. Telling instead of showing can also help a reader get through what would otherwise be a confusing mish-mash of action, such as trying to follow every blow of a fist-fight.

Telling is particularly useful for educating readers who might be otherwise lost or confused. Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon is a good example; the flow of events frequently pauses while the mathematics behind such things as cipher machines is presented step by step. Science fiction is a good genre for such information dumps - maps, diagrams, and mathematical formulae can tell the readers things they will need to understand in order to follow the progression of later events. (And many science fiction readers love the science itself at least as much as the fiction.)

Science fiction and magical fantasy both have points at which it is better to tell. Highly futuristic science and complex magic are easily subject to 'hand-waving' descriptions. You don't need to describe exactly how the spaceship's engine works; you can simply tell the readers that it will get people from one solar system to the next in a matter of weeks. You can, if you like, explain the inner workings of the spaceship's engine right down to the quantum mechanical level. But if you choose to skip those details, most readers will be happy to follow right along without asking for the particulars because then they won't need a physics degree to understand what you're saying (and you won't need one to write it in the first place.)

When your readers have certain experiences in common, you can take advantage of shortcuts. You don't have to describe a house's architecture in detail; you can simply call it a townhouse or suburban cookie-cutter. If there are details which make your house unique, such as the nausea-inducing green trim, or that provide clues to upcoming events, such as the bicycle in the front yard, you should include them. Otherwise, telling the readers what sort of house it is will provide enough context that showing isn't necessary. If the details don't serve a purpose, it might be best to skip them.

Too much detail can be distracting. Knowing the color of a character's t-shirt is is most likely irrelevant, and you could easily leave it out. When you introduce a character, painting a vivid picture can help the reader imagine him more clearly - but instead of showing each piece of his attire, you can simply tell the readers he's wearing his ever-present Red Sox cap and members-only jacket: the readers will be able to assume he is otherwise fully dressed. Showing and telling each have a place, and every author will decide for him- or herself how much of each to put into a story. But understanding why it's important to show, and when it's better to tell, will help fine-tune your writing. The balance will be unique, just like your story.

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© James Lyn

James Lyn has been writing fiction for nearly thirty years. Favorites include science fiction and horror, which is weird considering that he absolutely refuses to read or watch any horror. When not writing, he enjoys cooking, reading, and catching up on sleep.